


Half Price Heartache

by SassyUnicorn7



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Happy birthday Adox!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 04:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15307548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyUnicorn7/pseuds/SassyUnicorn7
Summary: A modern alternate universe where our beloved RWBY characters all work at a mall!Inspired by the talented Adox's awesome artwork!  Check 'em out here at:https://fanaticalparadox.tumblr.com/post/171360215108/hello-and-welcome-to-my-rwby-crackship-mall-au





	Half Price Heartache

**Author's Note:**

> ~*~*~*HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADOX!!!*~*~*~

“Mercury, get off your phone.”

The silver-haired teen with as many holes in his ears as he had in his worn out Pink Floyd shirt looked up from his slouched position over the checkout counter. He was decked from head to toe in black, right down to the ink decorating his arms. His tattooed bad boy image might not strike the average employer as appropriate, but that’s precisely why he chose to apply for Hot Topic. Not only could he dress as he normally would on any average day, but he got discounts on even more band shirts and combat boots. It was a win-win.

“Since when do you care if I’m on my phone or not?” Mercury asked, making zero moves to stow the incriminating device.

“Since I became your assistant manager,” his partner-in-suffering and—apparently—new assistant manager, Emerald, said flatly.

“When did that happen?”

“Last weekend. At the meeting you decided to skip.”

“But what about Cinder?”

“She got fired.”

“I miss her…” Mercury said with a longing sigh. “She was a fucking bitch, but I miss her.”

“You didn’t even realize she was gone until two seconds ago,” Emerald snapped, whacking him on the back of the head with a ballpoint pen as green as her bob of hair.

“Doesn’t make it hurt any less,” Mercury said, leaving Em to figure out if he meant the emotional loss of Cinder or the welt forming on the back of his cranium.

“Whatever. Get off your phone or I’ll write you up,” she warned, turning to refold a table of Harry Potter swag.

Mercury got a glimpse of his screen’s clock before tucking it in his pocket and felt ten times lighter when he realized what time it was. “I’ll be back in a bit,” he called over his shoulder as he walked towards the front of the store.

“Where are you… oh,” Emerald said, not even the least bit surprised by his sudden need to leave once she answered her own question. “Is it that time already?”

“Yep,” he confirmed, taking wider strides in case she decided to invoke her newfound assistant manager powers and stop him.

“Fine. Make sure you bring me back something!” she called after him as he swerved around the glass doors of the entryway with all the precision of a Nascar racer.

The mall was relatively quiet, but that wasn’t too unusual considering it was a Monday afternoon. Even though Remnant was the biggest shopping mall in the state, it still had its slow days. Online shopping dealt a fairly devastating blow to the retail world, but Mercury didn’t mind. Time to dawdle meant time for _her._

“Hope it wasn’t so slow that she went home early,” Mercury mumbled to himself as he descended an escalator from the third floor to the second. As if getting there sooner might double his chances of her actually being there, the Hot Topic poster child lunged down the mobile stairway, skipping every other step and nearly tearing even more rips in his taut black denim in the process.

When the Jamba Juice stand was in sight, Mercury craned his neck and scanned for the blond mane that would signify his journey was not in vain.

Alas, the only one working the stand that particular afternoon was the narrow-eyed, raven-haired girl who always seemed irritated to stop reading whatever book she had her nose stuck in and take an order.

“Welcome to Jamba Ju—oh, hey, Mercury,” she said. Mercury didn’t think her tone could get anymore apathetic, but when she actually looked up from her copy of _The Man with Two Souls_ and saw he was her customer, by god, it happened.

“Hey, Blake,” he greeted back, hiding his disappointment behind a tight-lipped smile. He’d really had his hopes up to see someone else in that gaudy pineapple headband the Jamba Juice girls were forced to wear. “Slow goin’ today, huh?”

“Not slow enough,” Blake deadpanned, glancing down at her book before looking back up at her annoying new customer. “What can I get for you?”

“Got anything on the menu that’s tall, blonde, and beautiful?” Mercury asked with a handsome smirk. He knew full well Blake was immune to his charms, yet he still couldn’t resist.

“Ha! I know I’m sweet, but I wouldn’t recommend making me into a drink,” a familiar voice said from beneath the countertop. Seconds later, tall, blonde, and beautiful emerged with a sponge in her mechanical right hand and a smile across her flawless face.

“Yang!” Mercury gasped, his suave persona destroyed by the mere sight of his Jamba Juice angel.

“Don’t look so shocked,” Yang said, clearly amused by throwing Mercury for a loop. “I _am_ the manager here, you know.”

Oh, he knew. Despite being nineteen years old—the same age as him—Yang had wiggled her way into a management position within the first three months of her employment. Her work ethic and likability made it easy for her. It also didn’t hurt that her right arm doubled as a mixer and could be used to make smoothies and juices whenever the machines were down.

“You gonna help him?” Blake asked, gripping onto her book in anticipation for the answer she wanted to hear.

“I suppose I could,” Yang said, her smile ever radiant. She tossed the sponge to the side and walked over to a sink to wash her hands. Fortunately, her robotic one was waterproof.

“What were you doing?” Mercury asked, sweeping his hair out of his face in an attempt to regain his cool-guy composure.

“Deep cleaning,” Yang said. “It’s what we do when we’re slow. I was getting all the grime off the pipes and refrigerators.”

“Not afraid to get down and dirty, huh?”

Yang smiled like she preferred the innuendo to that question. “Depends,” she answered.

“On?” It was just one word, but it was dripping with carnal desire.

“I’m on the clock, Mercury. I’m not about to sit here and talk dirty to you.”

He put his hands up defensively. “I’m just asking about the nature of your job,” came his quick reply.

Yang snorted out a laugh. “Uh huh. Sure.” She dried her hands off and leaned forward so that her elbows rested on the counter. “What can I get for you?” she asked, though he wasn’t sure if she was aware of how low-cut her tank top was or what exactly that angle was doing for her or—more importantly—for him.

Once Mercury managed to bring his eyes back up to her face and see that insufferably smug smile, he had his answer.

 _She knows exactly what she’s doing, and she doesn’t give two shits about being on the clock while doing it,_ he mused.

“How ‘bout a date?”

Yang gave a dutiful nod. “One date smoothie, coming right up. You want any mango with that? Just dates might taste pretty bland.”

Whether she was being plain coy or just taking advantage of the pun he presented her with, Mercury was once again reminded why he’d been hitting on this girl for three months and gotten nowhere. Not a number, not a first date, not even a hookup! Nothing. She sure as hell liked to flirt though.

Normally he’d play along and say, “Mango sounds good. Throw it in there,” and then leave like a date smoothie was exactly what he meant, but today he felt determined. If she was going to turn him down, she’d have to do it a little more blatantly than that.

“I was thinking more like you and me. Going out. Having fun. Just the two of us.” He kept it calm and casual like anything else he usually did, but inside, his heart was racing like a hamster in its wheel.

Her smile faded and he immediately wished he could take it back.

“A _date_ date?” Yang clarified, though he wasn’t sure why. Had he not made himself fairly clear, or did she really just enjoy watching him squirm?

“Like a dinner, a movie, a Netflix and chill, whatever you want,” he explained in a rush of breath. So much for calm and casual.

Yang’s cheeks turned as pink as the watermelon special advertised all over their menu board. Dammit! Why did he say Netflix and chill?!

“That… that’d be cool,” she finally said.

Mercury was torn between shouting out in victory and collapsing to the ground in relief. He settled in the middle by smirking and ordering an actual smoothie. When Yang walked away to go blend his sweet treat, Blake dropped her book from her face and tore into him with her catlike eyes.

“See something you like?” Mercury asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You break her heart, you deal with me,” Blake warned, completely straight-faced and once again impervious to his wooing ways.

“Fair,” he agreed. “But who do I deal with if she breaks mine?”

“Your therapist,” she replied with that same piercing gaze.

They continued their fun little staring contest until Yang returned with his smoothie. “One Peanut Butter Moo’d!” she announced, handing him the freshly-made beverage.

“Thanks,” he said, taking a taste test the moment his fingers closed around the cold cup. “Perfect blend of peanut butter, banana, and chocolate,” he confirmed.

Yang gave him a smile so sweet he could’ve sprinkled it on his smoothie. He then noticed a string of numbers scribbled on the side of his cup.

“Two billion, one hundred twenty-five million, five hundred fifty-five thousand, six hundred seventy-three?” he read aloud. “I thought you said it was slow. You’re already in the billions?”

“That’s _her_ number, moron,” Blake explained before rolling her eyes and returning her attention to her book.

Mercury held Yang’s gaze as the reality of the gift she’d given him sank in. “This is your phone number? Like for your cell phone?” he asked. It was her turn to clarify what was painfully obvious.

Yang’s watermelon-pink blush was back. “I just thought it might be easier to sort out the details of our date if you had it,” she explained. “Besides, now I can text you memes instead of just telling you about them when you come get a smoothie."

“I do enjoy a good meme,” Mercury admitted. “Just not January ones.”

“Oh, January memes are the worst,” Yang agreed.

They shared a laugh that earned them another eye-roll from Blake.

“Thanks for the smoothie, and the…” he gestured to his cup, not sure how to phrase the word _phone number_ without sounding awkward.

“Of course. Thanks for the business,” Yang replied happily.

With one last smirk, Mercury turned on his heel and headed back for Hot Topic with a little more pep in his step.

“Where’s mine?” Emerald asked as soon as she counted the number of drinks in Mercury’s hand.

“Sorry, Em. Guess I forgot,” Mercury said with a shrug of his shoulders and a slurp of his smoothie.

“That’s okay. I’ll just take yours.” She walked out from behind the counter to claim her prize, prompting Mercury to duck behind a Homestuck display.

“Not this cup!” he told her. “You could literally have any other cup but this one!”

“Why? It have the bimbo’s digits on it or something?”

How was Emerald so smart?

“Oh my god. It does, doesn’t it?” Emerald skittered around the display, grabbing at Mercury’s drink. “She seriously gave you her number?” she exclaimed.

“Why is that so surprising?” Mercury asked, dodging yet another wild lunge from his fairly athletic assistant manager.

“Because you’d never stoop beneath your cool-guy image to ask her out, and she’s way to oblivious to take a hint. I call her _bimbo_ for a reason,” Emerald said.

“Well, you might wanna check outside to see if the apocalypse is happening, because today we did both,” Mercury proudly revealed.

Emerald ceased her assault, dropping her grabby hands to her sides. “You made the first move?” she asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah. So?”

She smiled a smile that seemed more than just amused and casually strolled back behind the checkout counter. “You must really like this chick.”

“She’s hot. What’s not to like?”

“Her fake arm, her horrible puns, she never chops the bananas up enough so the chunks always get lodged in the straw…”

“Hey. I like banana chunks,” Mercury said defensively. “Gives me something to look forward to when I get to the bottom of my smoothie.”

“Is that right,” Emerald asked, still smiling like she knew something he didn’t. “Well… whatever. You still owe me a smoothie.”

Mercury tilted his head to the side as a fun little thought occurred to him. “Actually, I was thinking I could treat you to some froyo after the shift.”

Emerald’s eyes narrowed, her smile wiped clean from her face.

“You know that place they just opened up on our floor last month? The one with the cute aprons and cherry hats? Been craving their red velvet flavor lately,” Mercury said, trying not to laugh as he watched the agitated vein in Emerald’s forehead get bigger and bigger.

“We really don’t have to,” she said through clenched teeth. “Just seeing that girl makes my blood boil.”

“What girl?” Mercury asked with as much feigned innocence as possible.

Emerald stuck her tongue out. He knew she knew he knew.

“Getting a hard-on just thinking about her?” he teased.

She grimaced. “Grow up, Mercury.”

“Might have to. Toys R Us is no more…” Mercury said with a dramatic sigh. “I didn’t want to grow up, I was a Toys R Us kid. They had a million toys at Toys R Us that I could play with…”

“I can’t believe the bimbo agreed to date you,” Emerald sneered before rummaging behind the counter like she had something to do.

Mercury hopped up on the counter and sat with his legs dangling off the edge. “If you get a date with the froyo chick, we could go out together. It’ll be fun.”

“Your idea of fun and my idea of fun are two very different ideas,” Emerald said.

“But still fun, nonetheless,” Mercury countered with the smirkiest of smirks. “C’mon. What’ve you got to lose?”

“My time? My dignity?”

“Your virginity?” Emerald took a swipe at him, but he agilely jumped to avoid it. “All replaceable,” he said like he genuinely meant it. “C’mon, Em. You’re honestly not the least bit attracted to her? Not even those ice-blue eyes? Or that long, silky hair?” he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. “How bout those creamy thighs that peak out from the hem of her—”

“If I agree to ask her out, will you just shut up?”

Mercury took a long and audible slurp of his smoothie. “You drive a hard bargain… but I suppose it’s a decent trade.”

Emerald sighed. “Alright. Looks like we’re stopping for froyo on the way out.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Weiss Schnee _hated_ her job. To be honest, she hated any kind of work at all. She was an heiress born to privilege—she wasn’t meant for the labor force of the common folk. She also wasn’t on the best terms with her father, and that’s where her trouble started.

 _“You can’t just renounce me and go to college on some foreign continent! You sound like your sister did when she ran away to join the military. You need to be in an Ivy League school!”_ Jacque Schnee had shouted at his daughter. His words echoed in the far reaches of Weiss’s memory. _“Think of your reputation as a Schnee!”_

 _“I can uphold my reputation no matter what country I’m in. Lots of people study abroad,”_ Weiss snapped right back.

_“Fine. Go. Study abroad. Be a vagrant for all I care. But don’t expect me to fund your little trip.”_

Jacque might not have been the best father, but he _was_ a man of his word, and the day after Weiss left for Germany, he cut her off.

She knew he would unfreeze her accounts the minute she went home, apologized, and agreed to study at the college _he_ went to, but she also knew it might kill her to accomplish any of that. The fact that she was so stubborn didn’t help much either.

Which brought her to her present situation: working a part-time job wearing an embarrassing cherry hat while scooping up toppings for people to put on their “healthier” alternative to ice cream. It wasn’t all that glamorous, but it was liberating. Weiss was finally earning her own money and starting to stand on her own two feet. The price of freedom was steep, but the cherry hat suited her more than her father’s shackles.

“I’m saving up for Germany,” she reminded herself when a little kid made her start all over after changing his mind about the shovels of Oreo crumbs he originally asked for.

“I like Oreos, but maybe not today,” he decided.

Weiss stowed the cookie-covered cup of frozen yogurt in the mini fridge underneath the bar of toppings and got to work on the boy’s remake. She’d see if Yang or Blake wanted the unsellable treat once they all got off work.

The hands on the clock always seemed to move slowest when it was just about closing time. Weiss had one minute left before she could shut Fro-Go’s doors, but two customers came strutting in before those last few seconds were up.

Weiss swore under her breath, quickly going from bummed to miffed when she recognized one of the last-minute customers as Yang’s annoying crush—just waltzing in like he owned the place.

“Still open?” he asked with that smarmy smirk of his.

Weiss folded her arms across her chest and fixed him with a disdainful stare. “That would explain the doors not being closed,” she said.

“You know, for a girl who sells such sugary stuff, you really have a sour attitude,” he told her.

Weiss forced a smile so fake it nearly made her porcelain skin crack. “I’m sorry about that, sir. What can I do for you today?” she strained to say through clenched-teeth.

He put a pondering hand to his chin. “That’s a good question… Do I want something tart or something sweet? Maybe a mix of both? No, that might wind up tasting terrible… Wow, this decision could take all night!”

Weiss was about to go off on him for making her stay open later than she had to without even knowing what he wanted when the second customer poked her head out from behind him and said, “I’ll get something tart, you get something sweet, and we can share.”

“Good call, Em. Let’s do that,” he agreed.

Weiss recognized the girl as well—she was the-annoying-crush-not-even-worthy-of-a-name’s coworker. And possibly friend? Half the time she saw them together, they were quibbling, so she could never tell how much they actually liked each other. It was apparently enough to share froyo, though. She knew three things for certain: her name was Emerald, Emerald never put up with her shit, and she’d give half her family fortune just to kiss her.

“Might I recommend the Red Velvet flavor mixed with Cake Batter?” Weiss suggested in hopes of expediting their selection process. “Those go great with any candy topping. And the best tart flavor we have is Strawberrylicious. Combine that with Kiwi Fruit, Peachy Peach, and real fruit toppings, and you’ve got my personal favorite.”

Emerald nodded. “The tart combo sounds good. I’ll have that.”

Wow. Was Emerald actually being… _nice_ to her?

 _Guess there’s a first time for everything,_ Weiss thought to herself.

Since Emerald didn’t specify a size, Weiss went straight for the biggest cup they had. If they were going to force her to stay open late, they were going to pay for it. Literally.

“The secret is to layer the fruit in between the flavors,” Weiss mentioned as she scooped a spoonful of sliced strawberries over the Strawberrylicious froyo in the bottom of the cup. She made sure to drizzle a little caramel before adding the Kiwi Fruit layer. Once the giant froyo parfait was complete, Weiss set it on the scale. “That’ll be $10.99.”

If Emerald had been drinking anything, she would’ve immediately spit it out upon hearing that price. “You better mean pesos!” she exclaimed.

“You can’t put a price on happiness, and this is _definitely_ going to make you happy,” Weiss said, maintaining her chipper Fro-Go girl attitude, even if it was only by a thread.

“Relax. I got this one, Em,” her coworker cooly cut in. “I owe you, remember?”

“Damn straight, you do,” Emerald agreed.

“So why don’t you make the other one, and I’ll pay for them together?”

Weiss did as was asked of her, making sure to pile his even higher than Emerald’s. “$23.77,” she happily informed him.

His smirk shifted to a frown only for a moment, but it was a satisfying moment nonetheless.

Weiss walked the duo to the door with the intention of locking up and going home—well, not her family home. The home she shared with her roommates, Yang and Blake. She wasn’t expecting Emerald to abruptly turn around and lock eyes with her while maintaining one of the most serious expressions she'd ever seen, but that’s exactly what happened.

“Would you wanna go on a date sometime?” she asked so fast it was a wonder Weiss managed to comprehend the question.

“Wh—?”

“It was his idea!” Emerald shouted. She was pointing to her silver-haired companion, but the accused was much too interested in the chunks of cheesecake decorating his froyo to pay her any mind. “He and Yang are going out… so he thought—and well, I kind of agreed—but it was still his idea to see if—”

“Sure,” Weiss said.

Emerald’s hands went as slack as her face as she fumbled her cup of froyo. “Excuse me?”

“Sounds like… what’s that word I always hear Yang talk about? Fun?”

“She does like fun,” Yang’s annoying crush said.

“When someone addresses you, you may speak,” Weiss snapped at him.

“Hey! You can’t talk that way to me! I’m a paying customer! ” he argued.

“Not anymore,” Weiss said with the most genuine smile she’d given all day. “I’m off the clock,” she added before shooing them the rest of the way out of the store and locking the doors shut behind them.

She walked away, but it was only to grab a napkin from a nearby table and scribble her number down. She scurried back to the glass door and knocked on it to get Emerald’s attention. Luckily she and her coworker were still idling in front of the store. Once Emerald’s gaze met hers, she slammed the napkin up against the glass.

“Call me,” Weiss said, miming a telephone call incase Emerald couldn’t hear her.

Emerald smiled that same mischievous smile that made Weiss fall for her in the first place. _Will do,_ she imagined her thinking as she pulled out her phone and made her new contact.

Weiss could feel her face getting a hotter. She knew how much blush showed on her pale skin and immediately turned away in hopes of hiding it. She took a deep, calming breath and resumed her closing duties while trying to forget the green-haired goddess occupying her thoughts. She wasn’t very successful.

“What took you so long?” Yang asked once Weiss finally made it out to the parking lot.

Weiss shoved the extra frozen yogurt in her inquisitive friend’s face.

“Ooh! Oreos!” Yang delightedly squealed. She eagerly accepted the offering and took a spoonful so big Weiss was surprised she didn’t need to unhinge her jaw to eat it. “We almost left without you!” she said through a mouthful of froyo.

“Sorry. I got stuck taking care of some last minute customers,” Weiss explained.

“Assholes…” Yang muttered. “What kind of people would do that?”

“Definitely not the kind of people you’d want to date,” Weiss said.

“Definitely,” Yang agreed.

“Speaking of dates… I might have one pretty soon…”

Blake and Yang erupted into high-pitched cheers of congratulations.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” Blake asked.

“Emerald. From Hot Topic.”

Yang’s lip curled up in a sly grin. “What a coincidence,” she said, even though Weiss knew what was coming. “I’ve got a date with someone from Hot Topic, too!”

“Gee, whoever could it be?” Weiss sarcastically wondered with a roll of her big, blue eyes. “You two flirt like it’s going out of style. Why did it take you so long to actually make a move?”

“The chase is half the fun!” Yang said with a wink. “Now I feel like we should find a nice Hot Topic employee for Blake. Seems to be the place to pick up hotties…”

“I’m in need of no such thing,” Blake said dismissively.

“You dress like you belong there anyway!” Yang pointed out. “Why not see if they’ve got something else you like besides clothes and jewelry?”

“Don’t waste your time, Yang,” Weiss cut in. “I noticed Bake ogling that new guy they got to model in front of the Abercrombie and Fitch store. The blonde with the abs. She’s totally crushing.”

“Am not!” Blake protested, though the blush spreading across her face said otherwise.

“I have been wondering why she’s been insisting we take the level two exit even though we park on level three,” Yang admitted before playfully nudging Blake in the ribs. “Got a craving for eye-candy lately, Blakey?”

“Enough! Let’s just go. Congratulations on your love lives! Now will you _get off mine?”_

Weiss and Yang exchanged knowing looks before following their feisty friend to the car.

 _Maybe working at a mall isn’t so bad after all,_ Weiss thought with a smile, glancing from her roommates to the screen of her phone. She had a text from an unknown number. _I wonder if Emerald has ever been to Germany?_

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to mah girl, Shipps, for being my beta! You rock my socks on a daily, girl! <3


End file.
